I’m not talking about excessive gore; the Internet and modern movies and TV have completely desensitized America to that. What I’m referring to is entire movies - or at least extended scenes - that are filmed by what I can only assume is a chimpanzee who has been heavily drinking. I suppose it all started with The Blair Witch Project, but more recently I made the mistake of seeing Cloverfield on the silver screen. The plot was great and I think it would have otherwise been a good movie, but I was so nauseous by the end that I’m fairly confident that had I stood up to leave early, I would have vomited on the person in front of me. What’s worse is that I’m equally as confident that had one person tossed their cookies in the theater, it would have set off a chain reaction and caused the theater to be quarantined. Which, it turns out, brings me to the first movie I’ve ever walked out of: Quarantine.

I’m normally not a fan of the horror genre, but this at least looked intriguing from the commercials, starred and actress who is great in Dexter, and my wife and our friend, Ms. Quarter, both wanted to see it. So we went and it started off interesting enough, but even though it was supposedly being filmed by a “local news” camera-man, it just continuously got more shaky and nauseating. About a half hour in, just as the actual action in the movie started, the three of us were already so dizzy that we just got up and left. Jessie even managed to talk the manager in to free passes.

Going to the movies is already expensive enough, not to mention the added cost of any kind of snacks or drinks, so the least the industry can do is warn you about crappy nauseating camerawork so I don’t have to waste my time and money on a movie I’ll just end up walking out of. Hollywood, I’m begging you, if you want any more of my money stop trying to make me spew buttered popcorn on your other paying customers.